Archive [July 2000]

“Playing with the President was weird. He shot a 90. At the end of the game, his scorecard said 84.” — BRYCE MOLDER, FOURTH-RANKED NCAA GOLFER, AFTER A ROUND OF GOLF WITH BILL CLINTON AT CHENAL COUNTRY CLUB IN LITTLE ROCK, AR. QUOTED IN MAXIMUM GOLF MAGAZINE

How mean-spirited of you to notice.

“I defied the stereotype of a classical president.” — BILL CLINTON, QUOTED IN U.S. NEWS & WORLD REPORT

Right. You completely blew away that old stereotype of an honorable leader.

“A couple of years ago, Hillary made a music room for me in a little room on the top floor of the White House that we weren’t using, that was way at the end of a hall, and it had two doors, so no one could hear me when I was playing. I just go in there and I play. And no matter what else is going on, I can go in and play for 15 or 20 minutes and I’m full of energy and ready to start again.” — BILL CLINTON, AT AN EAST HARLEM SCHOOL TO SUPPORT MUSIC EDUCATION, REUTERS

Another room to scrub come January…

“It’s been a while since the Republicans threw pies in their own faces.” — REP. BARNEY FRANK (D, MA), ON GOP TALKS ABOUT INVESTIGATING JANET RENO’S MIAMI RAID. QUOTED IN THE HILL

And how long has it been since the Democrats polluted the air? Since you last opened your mouth.

“You could probably have Dracula wearing a swastika on his T-shirt and get 44 percent.” — EX-NY GOV. MARIO CUOMO, ATTEMPTING TO EXPLAIN WHY THE RELATIVELY UNKNOWN RICK LAZIO WAS TIED WITH HILLARY CLINTON IN THE POLLS AT 44 PERCENT, QUOTED IN THE NEW YORK POST

What about the bride of Frankenstein?

“I take a back seat to no one on issues of security.” — BILL RICHARDSON, CLINTON ENERGY SECRETARY, TESTIMONY BEFORE THE SENATE ARMED SERVICES COMMITTEE, WABC NEWS

And you leave the back door open to everyone…

“Let rape no longer be a weapon of war and let no woman or girl ever be … subjected to violence because of her sex in this new century.” — HILLARY CLINTON, U.N. CONFERENCE ON WOMEN, REUTERS

Tell it to Juanita.

“Most days I’m okay about not being on the ballot … And the other days that I’m not okay about it, you have the Constitution to protect you.” — BILL CLINTON, CBS NEWS

Uh-oh.

“I have every intention … of continuing in the Senate until I get the hang of it.” — SEN. EDWARD M. KENNEDY, (D, MA), DISMISSING SPECULATION THAT HE MIGHT RUN AS GORE’S VEEP, ON CNN’S “EVANS, NOVAK, HUNT & SHIELDS”

Sort of like driving, eh?

“I’m going to reiterate my call for the licensing and registration of handguns. I just think we ought to do everything we possibly can to keep them away from people who are criminally inclined.” — HILLARY CLINTON, QUOTED IN THE NEW YORK TIMES

Anyone come to mind?

“It is time for the international community to join us in cracking down on terrorists … from arms dealers to bomb-makers to cyber-criminals to rogue states.” — HILLARY CLINTON, COMMENCEMENT ADDRESS TO THE U.S MERCHANT MARINE ACADEMY AT KINGS POINT, NEW YORK, QUOTED BY NEWSMAX.COM

Sounds like the Clinton donor list.

“First of all, we are now calling these states ‘states of concern.’” — MADELEINE ALBRIGHT, SECRETARY OF STATE, WHEN ASKED ABOUT “THE ROGUE STATE” OF NORTH KOREA AND ITS “ROGUE LEADER,” KIM JONG IL. ACCORDING TO THE CLINTON STATE DEPARTMENT, “ROGUE NATIONS” NO LONGER EXIST. THERE ARE, INSTEAD, “STATES OF CONCERN.” QUOTED IN THE NEW YORK TIMES

Well, I am still going to call idiots “idiots”.

“Whether or not my family is in need of armed guards, that doesn’t change my position on gun control. It’s not inconsistent.” — ROSIE O’DONNELL, ANTI-GUN NUT, DEFENDING HER SON’S BODYGUARD’S APPLICATION FOR A CONCEALED WEAPON PERMIT. QUOTED IN PEOPLE MAGAZINE

Kindly shut up, madam.

“If Gore sticks to the center, and Bush sticks with the kooks, alpha-male Gore will bag the biggest trophy of all this November.” — PAUL BEGALA, FORMER CLINTON AIDE, WRITING IN GEORGE MAGAZINE

So far, the only trophy Gore has bagged is your integrity.

“[My husband] doesn’t just care about mental health in the abstract … He has lived it.” — TIPPER GORE, QUOTED IN THE NEW YORK TIMES

You could have fooled me.

“Don’t forget: there is a party with great prestige and moral authority. So what is there to worry about?” — FIDEL CASTRO, PREDICTING THAT THE ONE-PARTY COMMUNIST SYSTEM HE HAD ESTABLISHED IN CUBA WOULD CONTINUE SMOOTHLY AFTER HIS DEATH, REUTERS

In your country? Bread.

“I am holding one of Fidel’s cigars in my hand that I would like to give to you.” — GERMAN CHANCELLOR GERHARD SCHROEDER, IN BERLIN, OFFERING BILL CLINTON A BOX OF CUBAN CIGARS. WITNESSES SAID CLINTON STOPPED LAUGHING AND “LOOKED IRRITATED.” REUTERS

Forevermore, a symbol of Presidential affection.

“We want to send an affectionate greeting, and a well-deserved kiss … especially to one father whom we love dearly for his unrivaled teachings and his infinite love for us, our Commander-in Chief.” — JUAN MIGUEL GONZALEZ, FATHER’S DAY LETTER TO FIDEL CASTRO “SIGNED” BY ELIAN GONZALEZ, PUBLISHED IN THE RULING COMMUNIST PARTY’S DAILY NEWSPAPER GRANMA, REUTERS

A Hallmark moment.

“Well, there’s no suspense. The parties and we are having this dance. They’re dancing with you. They’re dancing with us.” — PETER JENNINGS, ABC NEWS ANCHOR, ON HIS NETWORK’S PLANNED REDUCED CONVENTION COVERAGE, ON CNN’S “LARRY KING LIVE”

There’s only one party with you, Mr. Jennings.

“Only after he finishes his term as President of the Intergalactic Federation from his home base on Mars.” — JOE LOCKHART, WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY, WHEN ASKED WHETHER CLINTON WOULD MOVE TO ENGLAND TO TEACH AT OXFORD UNIVERSITY, AS WAS RUMORED, REUTERS

… And hits on all the Martian babes.

“I never did that … That would be illegal.”— BILL CLINTON, IN MOSCOW, WHEN ASKED BY A RUSSIAN IF HE’D EVER BEEN TEMPTED TO CRACK DOWN ON JOURNALISTS: “COULD YOU ASK THE TAX AUTHORITIES TO AUDIT CNN?” CLINTON WAS FIELDING RUSSIANS’ QUESTIONS DURING A MOSCOW RADIO CALL-IN SHOW, AP

Perish the thought!

“It is not directed by the school, it is directed by the parent. And I think that this is one of the underlying flaws and concerns that we have with this… I do not know how a school district is going to manage this when … frankly, the parent is in control.” — SEN. PATTY MURRAY, (D, WA), FLOOR REMARKS, ON A REPUBLICAN EDUCATION BILL’S TUTORING PROVISIONS, QUOTED IN THE AUGUSTA CHRONICLE

Horrors!

“Al’s out there. He’s gotta remain out there, talking on the issues he’s comfortable with and believes in … And he’s gotta keep moving around America, touching a lot of bases.” — WILLIAM DALEY, CLINTON COMMERCE SECRETARY, NOW GORE’S NEW CAMPAIGN CHAIRMAN, ON HIS FIRST TRIP TO GORE’S NASHVILLE HEADQUARTERS, AP

He’s out there, all right.

“I think the truth is my friend in this.” — AL GORE, ON RELEASING A TRANSCRIPT OF HIS INTERVIEW WITH A PROSECUTOR CONCERNING HIS BUDDHIST TEMPLE FUNDRAISER, WHICH HE CLAIMS NOT TO HAVE KNOWN WAS A FUNDRAISER, AP

That would be a first.